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The Rogue's Gallery

  My life, reduced to a few minutes worth of pixels.

Pimpin' January, 2000

  Who's that sexy redhead on the left? h0. h0. h0.

Dude, where's your hair? November 2000

  After my triumphant return from Canada, I decided to finally bid fairwell to the long tresses. I still have the ponytail from when I got it cut off.

Hitched! April 2002

  My little sister and her sweetheart of a husband at their wedding in Vegas. How big of a sweetheart is he? Well, me and my brother both told him we'd marry him if our sister leaves him.

The Face of Evil, December 2002

  My brother and his psychotic ex-fiance, Hammertwat. Never has red-eye been more appropriate.

Tech Support, December 2002

  When I'm bitching about having to fix my mother's computer, this is where I'm at.

The 'rents, December 2002

  Me dear old mum 'n dad. See the stuff on the walls? Every wall in the house is cluttered with knicknacks and such. I'm scared of what we'll have to do if they ever move.

Vacation, March-April 2003

  My visit to SixKats in Orlando. Taking back our restaurants one crayon at a time...


From the same '03 visit to Orlando and Epcot. I really should have bought that hat.

My 31st Birthday

   For my 31st birthday I had the great fortune to spend a weekend in California to attend a beach party hosted in Oceanside, CA. At the dinner the night prior I was treated to an unusual "cake"... a flan with caramel sauce. It was very tasty, my faceplant into the table was just embarrassment at being "serenaded" by the waiters...


  The next day before the party, some of us wandered down to the ocean. I fully expected the piles of this stuff laying everywhere to animate and start carrying off small children. Alas, it didn't.

Taking it like a man

  As my punishment for backing out on the party for a short while the host, Jason G., who was freshly out of bartender school, made me drink a mystery shot. One shot of lime juice, hold in mouth, then a dose of Bailey's Irish Cream on top of it. The result? A very nasty mouthful of something called a Cement Mixer.

  Never trust a grinning man who tells you to get on your knees and open your mouth.


  Lorz had to have one too, for reasons never disclosed. I think she summed up the taste best when she wailed "It tastes like curdled breast milk!"

  Trifle not with bartenders, for they are devious and sadistic in their punishments.


  Later on in the evening, I broke out a bottle of limoncello I had made. Note the spiffy tshirt, too.

Halloween 2003

  According to my friend Matt: "You as a Matrix guy is boring. You as a priest, on the other hand, is a total mindfuck."

  He was right.